20 Things All Clumsy People Know To Be TrueFunny, Lists, Social
Navigating the world as a clumsy person is a very tricky thing indeed. Each day comes with its own set of dangers and warning signs and unless you’re alert to all of the cautions around you, it’s pretty likely that you’re going to slip up at some point. Really clumsy people get a bad rep and most of the time, it’s not their fault. The world is a dangerous place and if you don’t constantly hurt yourself, you’re doing something very strange indeed.
Glass Is Never Shatter Proof
Glass that claims to be anything but breakable around you is marketing a huge lie. You stopped buying real drinking glasses long ago because, as soon as you got them home, they all burst into a thousand pieces. You’re content with using infant sippy cups for now.
You Walk In Baby Steps When Carrying Anything
If you’re left with the responsibility of carrying anything anywhere, you know that something will go wrong at some point. You walk with such caution that everyone around you finds it hilarious, but you know if you didn’t, a disaster would happen.
You Have Spent Tons Of Money On Broken Things
The words “you break it, you buy it” are a little too real for you and if you look around your home, you can list at least 20 items that you bought without really wanting to. You tell yourself they add “character”, but you’re not really fooling anyone.
Your Phone Is Always Cracked
New phones are a rarity in your household and even if you’ve just unwrapped a phone, it somehow manages to look about 6 months old. You’re so used to reading around the cracks that without them, things just don’t feel right.
You Never Walk With Hot Drinks
Hot drinks are a genuine hazard when in your company and your friends have learned never to give you anything that could cause an injury if spilled. You’ve given up trying to drink coffee altogether; it’s just too dangerous.
You Are Never Trusted With Babies
You have dropped more babies than you care to admit to and by this point, you’re not allowed anywhere near them. You dread the day when you have children of your own; picking them up will be a real challenge.
Store Displays Always Topple Over
Somehow, store displays never manage to stay upright when you’re around. You can look at a stack of tins and they can all fall over, much to your bemusement. Store employees naturally hate you.
You’re Never Trusted In The Limelight
If you have to accept an award, or make any kind of public announcement, something is bound to go wrong. You’ve tripped over more times than you care to think about and by now, you’re not even allowed to walk on a stage.
You Never Wield Heavy Objects
Despite your physical strength, heavy objects always end up on your or someone else’s foot. Actually trying to move furniture is a very daunting task, and one that you no longer trust yourself to do.
You Have A Stain On Every Piece Of Clothing
You have so many stains on your clothes that you don’t even see them any more. You used to replace new items of clothing as soon as they were stained but now, you roll with it.
You Always Check Doors For Glass
Walking into a glass door might seem like a comical act but in reality, it’s a pain that you know a little too well. The fact that see-through doors even exist genuinely baffles you and you avoid all surfaces that you can’t see.
You’re Genuinely Afraid Of Volleyball
Hearing the words “let’s place volleyball” sends a shiver down your spine. Things flying through the air have a habit of ending up in your face and if you’re on the receiving end of a serve, you know that it’s not going to end well.
You Can Trip On Any Surface
The smoothest of surfaces are completely hazardous to you and somehow, you manage to find a way of tripping on anything. You’re secretly proud of your weird skill, but you don’t share it with anyone.
You Can’t Flirt Without An Accident
Trying to act in an irresistible manner always ends up in disaster for you and no matter how well you plan dates in advance, something always goes wrong. You hold out hope that one day, you will find someone who loves you for your clumsy nature.
You Know Your Local Hospital A Little Too Well
You have been to the hospital more times than you can remember and by now, you know it better than your own home. You’re probably on a first name basis with most of the staff and know a thing or two about their personal lives.
You Have Your Doctor On Speed Dial
Your doctor is a very real presence in your life and you always have their number close at hand. Each day opens up the possibility of a new accident and with it, another trip to the doctor.
You Have Broken Every Bone In Your Body
People that haven’t broken any bones in their bodies are a genuine mystery to you. You have a story for every bone breakage and hold it with fond affection in your memory.
You Have A Genuine Fear Of Ice
Ice is the stuff of nightmares to you and you know that as soon as the temperature drops below freezing, something is going to go very wrong. One day, you will beat the ice but for now, you’re happy to avoid it altogether.
You Don’t Even Try To Wear Heels
If you’re a clumsy girl, wearing heels is a no-go. Elevated surfaces mean one thing and one thing only, and you’re not prepared to put yourself in any more danger than you already are.
You Can Never Just Be Chill
You look at those people who go about their lives in a relaxed way and really envy them. You can never just chill out because if you lose attention for a second, you will probably break your neck.