15 Adorable Animals That Can Make You Suffer (Or Kill You)

#13 – Pfeffer’s Flamboyant Cuttlefish

I’m not going to pretend I understand the visage of this creature, but it looks similar to a housecat. If the housecat was designed by H. P. Lovecraft, that is. The PFC (to keep it short) is the single species of cuttlefish that’s actually poisonous, which might have been suggested to you by its wildly colourful skin – the nature’s way of saying: “Eat me. I dare you. NO – I double dare you”. Coming into contact with this puppy can result in nausea, respiratory arrest and heart failure, essentially leading to death within minutes. As with all cuttlefish, the PFC is a highly intelligent, chameleonic creature that doesn’t mind swooping the ocean floor as long as it remains as flamboyant as it currently is. It’s also the only species of cuttlefish that cannot hover for extended periods of time, and thus has to parade at the bottom of the sea instead of treating the wide oceans to its vivid, fabolous flotational performance. And also kill something along the way.

#12 – Panda

Pandas are assholes. Come on, people. Why does this need to be said? They’re bears. BEARS, for Pete’s sake. For some reason, lots of people seem to think pandas won’t mutilate you, rip your head straight off or feast on your soul. Well, I’m sorry to inform you that they’re wrong. A panda absolutely will destroy you just as badly as a grizzly bear would, with the only meaningful difference being the fact that the panda will look adorable while doing it. Weighing up to 350 lbs, a male panda bear has more than enough muscle strenght to break you as many times as it wants. You shouldn’t forget that, even though pandas rarely eat anything but bamboo, they still have the digestive system of a carnivore, as well as carnivore-specific genes in their DNA. What this means is that, deep down, the panda wants you dead and sure as hell can digest you whole so that no evidence is left after the deed is done. Who would ever suspect a panda would eat you?