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Politician Claims That God Commissioned Him To Criminalize Baggy Pants

Politician Claims That God Commissioned Him To Criminalize Baggy Pants


Many people dislike the trend that is “baggy pants.” They aren’t attractive by any means, nor is it practical or convenient. Does this mean it should be illegal? Well, according to Frank Goodman, councilman in Dadeville, it should be.

Goodman has proposed a law against anyone wearing pants that fall below the waistline. He has based this proposal on the grounds that the sagging pants are “disrespectful” and “prevent the wearers from finding employment.” He also says that God told him to outlaw these pants. In a recent interview, he said: “I prayed and asked God to show me what I should do, and the way I should go about it. What would God do? Did God go around doing this? He would [not] show me this saggy pant—it’s one of the things He did not do. It is not in His orders to do that to gain eternal life.

Goodman plans to bring forward legislation that gives police officers the right to give out tickets to anyone wearing low-riding trousers. While most people agree that the trend isn’t necessarily the greatest, those same people would agree that making it illegal to wear a certain type of clothing is actually a violation of rights and freedoms. Goodman has a long way to go before he fully comprehends how the world works, and he will hopefully realize that baggy pants are the least of his (and probably God’s) concerns.