20 Signs That You’re A Cat Person

Animals, Funny, Lists, Social

For years, it’s been all about dogs. We’re told constantly that dogs are man’s best friend, you’re more likely to be sociable if you’re a dog lover and in general, dogs lead to people having happier lives. We get it. The trouble is, we’re not all dog lovers. For some of us, at least, there’s nothing we hate more than busy parties, long walks and smiling at people.

There is another way! If you find that you spend 70% of your day cursing the people around you and the other 25% thinking about food, you’re probably a cat person and if you don’t already have a feline friend, we’re betting that you will soon be making a furry purchase.

You Have Your Own Seat

Pity the person who sits in your seat for they really don’t know what’s coming for them. You have perfected the creases in your seat’s cushion and if anyone comes in there to mess things up, there will be hell to pay.

You Judge People From Afar

Your idea of socializing is sitting in a cafe and people watching. Your favorite activity is to silently judge the outfits of strangers, sitting smugly in your cozy corner.

You’re In A Relationship With Your Bed

In your opinion, human love is for sissies and you can’t imagine loving anyone or anything more than you love your own bed. If you had it your way, you would conduct every day out of the comfort of your duvet and the minute you get through the door, you make a beeline for the bedroom.

You Exude Mystery

You listen to other people a lot but you rarely tell them anything about yourself. And when you look as good as you do, who needs to know anything else?

You Hang Out In The Shadows

People complain that you’re creepy when you jump out at them from the dark, but that’s just because they don’t understand. From your dark vantage point, you can see everything that’s going on and you like to collect secrets to use for later.

You Change Your Opinion. A Lot.

One day, you can’t get enough of cheese and dairy products, and the next, you’re lactose intolerant. Keeping up with your ever-changing tastes is a full time job for the people around you but you know that it’s just because you deserve the best.

You Hate Everyone

The prospect of going to a party fills you with complete despair and you secretly rejoice when your friends cancel plans you had arranged. Being sociable is like going through the motions for you and if you had it your way, the only relationship you would have would be with your bed.

You’re Needy Half Of The Time…

Some days you wake up and you are filled with longing for other people. Throughout the day, you nuzzle up to as many people as you possibly can, giving out affection like it’s going out of fashion.

…And Aloof The Rest Of The Time

There are others, however, when the sight of other people makes you sick to your stomach. If someone so much as brushes your hands, you feel yourself breaking out in hives and instead of socializing, you wish the world away from beneath your duvet.

You Like Small Spaces

There’s nothing more comforting than being confined in a small room for you; open spaces make you feel vulnerable and if you ever find yourself in the middle of nowhere, you go on high alert.

You Like To Strut

You’ve been practicing your best street walk in your spare time and when you’re out and about, you have no problem in turning heads. You know that your legs are your best asset and you love to work it.

You’re Incredibly Perceptive

You’re so alert to the changes around you that if your second cousin’s neighbor’s sister loses half a pound, you probably already know about it. Your perceptive skills are laser sharp and there’s no-one else who can rival you.

You’re Secretly Planning World Domination

People jokingly inquire about what you’re thinking when you stare into space and you answer them merely with a smug smile. If they really knew what you were plotting in your head, they would run away from you, screaming.

You Scorn Happy People

You walk the streets in a constant state of gloom and even on the sunniest days, you revel in other people’s misfortune. Happy people who approach you are the enemy and you go out of your way to avoid them.

You Take The Long Way Round

Rather than adhering to new rules and regulations, you like to be as awkward as physically possible and even if that means adding an extra 10 minutes to your journey, you have no problem with it. Authority is evil.

You’re Abnormally Clean

When you’re not sleeping, you’re mostly likely to be found grooming in some way or another. The fact that your friends don’t shower twice a day sends shivers down your spine and if something gets a small stain, you immediately throw it out.

You Like The Rain

Sunny days could cease to exist for all you care; your favorite days are those in which you can hide beneath the duvet and stay warm. The gloomier it is outside, the better.

You’re Obsessed With Detectives

Your secret wish is to become a fully fledged detective and from all of the time you spend people watching, you’re probably in with a good chance. You assess each situation like you’re Sherlock Holmes on double espressos and you have the gut instincts of a true detective.

You’re A Shameless Flirt

Whenever you meet a new person, you’re all over them like a bad rash. You twist your body in ways that no other human being could and if someone isn’t immediately in love with you, you’re simply not interested.

You Hate Dogs More Than Anything

The fact that some people choose to cohabit with the slobbering animals completely baffles you and if you so much as get a whiff of a dog, you stop dead in your tracks. Any attempts by dogs to make friends is quickly cut short.