19 Sightings Of Plastic Surgery Aliens
The following list was composed to help prepare the unassuming individual for an alien invasion. For how many centuries has humanity pondered the stars, wondering if we were alone in the universe? Well, as it turns out, aliens have already visited earth, and they are already walking among us. They have been trying to blend in, but so far they have not mastered the necessary reconstructive surgeries. What’s more, they often misinterpret humans’ ideals of beauty, often skewing what was already picturesque. Read on to familiarize yourself with this new species, so when you meet one in the street you won’t be altogether dumbfounded or fooled.
They just can’t help but grab you’re attention; you can’t help but stare at them, unsure whether to be attracted or repulsed. When you sleep later that night, you’ll have nightmares of those lips coming for you, seeking you out to gobble you up.
They may surprise you when you’re walking down the street. You’ll maybe wonder if they’re auditioning for a role on The Walking Dead.
Boys and Their Barbie Dolls
Pinocchio, the wooden puppet, dreamed of being a real boy, and in the story he got his wish. This boy dreamed of being plastic, and also got his wish. Hooray! We can only wonder if he drives around in a plastic car, too.
The Subtle, Hungry Lips
Some of these shape-shifters are more subtle. They might fool you from a distance, so be on your guard before you are falsely charmed. You may be drawn into a kiss before you realize the enormous size of such lips, and only too late will you understand that you are about to be eaten.
Male Kardashian Wests
When men start coveting Kim Kardashian West’s lips for their own appearance, it certainly is a dark day in history.
Witches With Cherry Lipstick
Others are not so subtle. You can spot this subspecies from afar. But don’t stop and stare, don’t get lulled by the oddity. Just turn around and run.
You’ll likely come across many species that appear to be wax figurines. And then they’ll move, realizing that they are alive.
Mad Max Cast Member
Some of these species borrow their looks straight from horror or sci-fi movies. This example likely plans on auditioning for the upcoming film Mad Max: Fury Road.
Bubble Gum Lips
You’ll might see one of these species and wonder if they just blew a bubble while chewing gum, only to have the bubble pop and smear all over their lips. Then you’ll realize it’s just their lips.
Buttocks Balloons for Men
Once again, this subspecies prefers to idolize and emulate Kim Kardashian West. In this case, a man has stuck balloons in his butt cheeks rather than spend any honest time in a gym.
World of Warcraft Avatar
Others simply lose touch with reality. This example has lost his (or her) touch with what is real by playing too much World of Warcraft.
The Cocoon of Pain
Maybe we should provide them a little compassion? Post-surgery, they often look as if they went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson in a boxing ring. Such bruising surely requires a great deal of fortitude to endure. Or maybe such bruising is the metaphorical cocoon they must endure before they mature into beautiful butterflies.
The Unfortunate Casualties
Some of these species already had ravishing good looks before they underwent their surgeries. Perhaps their own minds were playing tricks on them, or that they had circus mirrors installed in their homes, which fooled them.
The Unfortunate Casualties, Continued…
Mother Nature worked very hard over a long period of time to work out the kinks in the human body. She’s had more experience, so maybe let’s leave all the physical reshaping in her hands.
Some believe that immortality is achieved by continually reshaping and refreshing their bodies with plastic surgery. After all, the Grim Reaper apparently only searches for older-looking people.
This species is the most deceptive of all, and they often beguile men everywhere, driving them crazy until they’re drooling idiots. But maybe it was never about appearance or developing control? Maybe this species, when they saw the earth was covered in water, was only being practical by installing extra flotation devices into their bodies.
Men Like Hercules
Women aren’t the only ones who get chest implants. Some men don’t want to work out but also fear using steroids. “Aha!” they exclaim. “I’ll just get chest implants so I can still look good while being lazy! Women will never know…”
Well, they might fool everyone until one implant becomes infected and has to be removed.
Too Far Gone
For some, they are too far gone. Nothing can be done to bring them back from the void. Too much time and too many surgeries have erased what was once natural.
Not Too Late…
For others, though, there’s still a chance to be saved. Just stop now…please!