20 Of The World’s Dumbest Criminals

Funny, Lists, Other, Shocking

Criminals generally aren’t too smart, especially considering they’re trying to rob, steal, and otherwise cause mischief in an attempt to make some money. There are some criminals, however, who go above and beyond the call of duty to ensure everyone has a good laugh at their expense. These guys – and gals – managed to botch their attempted crime, make the papers and online stories, and get themselves arrested or injured in the meantime. Have a chuckle or two at their expense.

Butt Dialing the Police

Two shoplifters managed to get away with stacks of DVDs and video games from a Wisconsin Target store. Unfortunately, one of the men butt-dialed the police before boasting about their crime for an hour straight.

Glass Wall of Vengeance

One man decided he was going to shoplift from the local mall, but security caught on and chased him through the halls. Unfortunately for the man, the glass door stopped him dead in his tracks.

Chair Beat Down

When you’re going to rob a convenience store, you probably want to make sure the cashier behind the counter doesn’t have any weapons. One robber didn’t think a metal chair could be very deadly, but it sure hurt his head quite a bit.

Free Beer

Undercover cops wanted a few easy wins, so they asked dozens of people to call a marketing company for a free crate of beer. 19 suspects fell for the trick, which ended up with them behind bars for their crimes.

Clowning Around

Even a convenience store has to close at some point. So, when a local store shut down for the night, a man dressed in his finest clown pajama pants and walked in front of the store before putting on his stocking mask. His face was caught on camera.

Pool Games

Police were looking for a criminal within a building, when one officer called out, “Marco”. The suspect, who just couldn’t resist, responded with “Polo”, which ended up with him being handcuffed.

Trouble With the Stick

Two criminals in University City wanted to get their hands on the keys to a vehicle and the woman’s money, but the lady drove a manual transmission vehicle. Unfortunately, neither criminal knew how to drive a stick. Both were caught attempting to figure it out.

A Lawyer’s Support

A burglar thought it was smart to break into a house around Christmas time to steal the homeowner’s items and sell them for his own Christmas gifts. However, police were already inside the house interviewing the people for another crime.

Fish Alarm

Do you remember those talking fish some old people had hanging on their wall? Well, one of those managed to scare away a robber when he broke into a home. That’s a story he won’t be telling anyone.

Causing Crime? YouTube It!

If you’re going to steal a car and then rob a bank, the smart idea is to not post a YouTube video afterwards bragging about your crime. Hannah Sabata did just that, fanning herself with $100 bills in the process.

Money or McDonald’s

Two gunmen brandished firearms to rob a 19-year-old of her money. They fired a shot into the air, and then took off with her No. 7 combo meal from McDonald’s. It’s unclear whether the two bumbling criminals scored any cash, though.

Plunging Problems

A Utica criminal attempted to perform the perfect bank robbery, but with only one slight problem: he used a plunger as a weapon. He attempted to rob two other banks beforehand.

Beehaving Failed

A burglar thought it would be a good idea to try and rob a shed. Well, that shed ended up containing thousands of bees and their hives. The man was stung, no doubt, but police didn’t catch him immediately.

Tetris Disguised

A suspect was being hunted down for performing a “vicious” assault at the Hokitika Wildfoods Festival. The man in question was found to be dressed as a Tetris box.

Attempted Hire

Demetrius Robinson tried to rob a Golden Pantry, but he got there too early. So, like any normal person would do, he filled out an application, using his real name in the process. He then robbed the store afterwards.

Answer the Phone!

Christopher Kron, from Florida, tried to rob a restaurant after closing. He made numerous mistakes, but the biggest one was answering the call from security company ADT and responding with his real name.

One Eye Closed

A drunken woman tried to defend herself from a drunk driving charge by saying she closed one eye to avoid seeing double. She was sentenced to two months in prison for her crimes.


Arthur Cheney robbed a bank or two, then used the same car to drive around nonchalantly. Unfortuntely for Arthur, he left a Post-It note in the window that read, “Robbery – 100s and 50s only.”

Leave Your Number

Ruben Zarate was tired of waiting around at a muffler shop in Chicago for the manager to return. So, Ruben left his phone number with the cashier with instructions to call him when the manager was back so he could rob them.

Donkey Escape

A gang of thieves in Columbia considered it smart planning to load their stolen goods onto a stolen donkey and ride off into the sunset. Police were attracted to the noise from the stolen animal, not the robbery.