10 Incredible Headlines That Had To Come From Florida

Funny, Lists, Other

Florida gives us some of the most unique stories out there. Does somebody want to attach a firing range to a bar? Did a man try to blame a cat for downloading child pornography on his computer? Is a strip club offering free flu shots to customers? Those are just three crazy headlines that are actually real from the state of Florida. While these may seem pretty odd, Florida is one of the only states that produces public records of each and every arrest that occurs. Here are some of the most insane stories that we’ve come across in the Sunshine State.

Pouring Hot Sauce On Dog

Ephrian Myles of Tampa Bay was charged with aggravated animal cruelty after dumping hot sauce on a 3-month-old puppy named Gizmo. The dog was taken to a shelter for adoption.

Ebola Made Somebody Miss Court Appearance

While Joseph Britton plead that his Ebola excuse was taken out of context, officers took measures to make sure that Britton didn’t really have the disease. He was still returned to his cell among other prisoners just an hour after the incident.

Urinating On In-Law’s Carpet On Thanksgiving

Willie B. Norfolk made quite an impression when visiting his girlfriend’s family in St. Petersburg, getting so drunk that he urinated all over their living room floor and was found lying outside.

Attacking Nephew For Undercooked Noodles

54-year-old Richard Vine Newton decided to go after his nephew after the kid told him that noodles he cooked were underdone. The adult retaliated by shoving him and even started slashing a knife toward him. Authorities made it in time to arrest Newton.

Biting Off An Ear To Get Cigarettes

John Ott’s neighbor decided to do his best Mike Tyson impression by giving him a bear hug and then biting his ear after he refused to give him a cigarette. Ott planned to get a restraining order after the incident.

Attempting To Steal 850 Pairs Of Victoria’s Secret Underwear

Daniel Espinosa, a very horny 18-year-old, went to Victoria’s Secret on three different occasions and stole around $15,000 worth of underwear. That’s a lot of panties.

Attempting To Steal Chainsaw In Pants

Somebody actually tried to sneak out a chainsaw from Treasure Coast Lawn Equipment by stuffing it in their pants. They somehow succeeded, but were caught when he was actually going back to the store to return it.

Attempting To Steal 36,000 Pounds Of Crisco

A semitruck was hijacked in St. Petersburg, which was carrying a large amount of Crisco that was stolen. Other goods from an Amazon distribution center were also stolen in a nearby truck.

Calling 911 To Check On Tax Return

Drinking and calling the emergency hotline is never a good idea. In his drunken state, James Mahoney thought that was the best idea to find out the status of his tax return, or at least that’s the first thing that came to his mind when he was approached by police.

Man Escapes Prison And Returns With No One Noticing

Jason Wayne Adams was able to escape the Sumter Correctional Institute, changing into normal clothes after entering a local Metro Food Mart. He purchased booze, chewing tobacco, and cigarettes to smuggle back into the institute, and he was able to succeed by getting back to his work duties on time. He was eventually caught when trying to escape again.