20 Thoughts All Single People Have Had

Funny, Lists, Social

Every single person is more than aware of the perils present in the big wide world. When all of your friends are pairing up around you, it’s easy to feel like you’re some sort of social pariah. If you’ve been single for a really long time, your brain starts to do funny things to you and it might not be long before you have changed your perspective on dating altogether. If you’re single, you’ve probably thought at least one of these things before and trust us when we say, it really is okay.

Maybe I’m The One

The fact that you haven’t met anybody of any potential interest for the last three years has led you to think the inevitable, that you are, in fact, your “one”. Maybe you should just stop dating and admit the fact that no-one measures up to you, and that it’s really okay.

Food Makes Me Happier Than Any Person Could

Food won’t talk back to you, leave you alone to go out with its friends or belittle your ideas. The fact is that, whenever you need it, food is there for you, and that’s all you really need right now.

Is It Obvious That I’m Single?

If you’re a long-time singleton, you might feel like you’re wearing your relationship status on your sleeve. Going into new bars or cafes can feel like a whole new challenge in itself and when faced with the judging eyes of couples, you would rather just have stayed at home.

How Desperate Am I Feeling Tonight?

Your emotions range from blind hatred to utter desperation and from time to time, you act a little crazy. When you’re alone in a club, sometimes you just have to listen to your heart and let your head pick up the pieces in the morning.

I’ve Forgotten What People Feel Like

Having sudden contact with a stranger sends a shiver up your spine and from time to time, you bump into someone just to feel another human being. You can’t remember the last person you hugged and at this point, the feel of blanket is more familiar to you than skin.

I Am Not Responsible Enough To Be In A Relationship

You look at your coupled up friends and let out a small shudder. As they apply for mortgages and invest in artwork, you’re struggling to save up enough money to buy more wine. You have no idea about taxes and don’t intend to start now.

Is It Worrying That I Talk To My Cat?

You spend most of your spare time in conversation with your cat and the fact that they understand you more than your other friends doesn’t even bother you anymore. From time to time you panic about your social status, but then your cat gets home and it’s all better again.

What If I Can’t Flirt Anymore?

It’s been so long since you last flirted with another human being that you’re genuinely considering taking lessons from one of your friends. When you do try and flirt, you lose all sensation in your mouth and before long, it’s a whole lot of mess. Not pretty.

Is My Dentist Hitting On Me?

Your dentist takes such a long look into your mouth that you’re convinced that they’re in love with you. It’s been so long since someone hit on you that you can no longer read the signals and if this is what the future of dating holds, you want no part of it.

How Do You Even Do A Date, Anyway?

The last date that you actually went on is a bit of a blur and now the thought of going on another fills you with confusion and dread. You’ve convinced yourself that you don’t have the skills to actually carry out a date and have resigned yourself to a life alone.

I Might Just Hold My Hand To See How It Feels

You look at couples holding hands and are filled with envy. When no-one’s looking, you take your own hand and practice what it feels like. Of course, it never really does anything for you, but the intention is there.

Were They Flirting, Or Were They Just Friendly?

Navigating the world of social gatherings is a minefield when you’re single, you’re forever second guessing whether or not someone is flirting or friendly. Most of the time, you get it completely wrong and end up confusing everyone else around you, too.

Is It Okay To Dream About TV?

The only thing you fantasize about is the TV and now, it has started to fill your dreams. You daydream about all of the shows that you could be watching and from the smile on your face, anyone would think that you’re in love.

Maybe I Should Go On A Dating Show

Once a thing of scorn, dating shows have now taken on an entirely different light in your eyes. You have eyed up the application forms of your favorite show with very real intent and plan to make an appearance if things don’t get better soon.

Are Arranged Marriages Still A Thing?

Although you long to find a partner of your own choice, you think about arranged marriages a lot more than is healthy. You’ve started to casually inquire whether or not your parents know any nice families and are taking serious notes.

I Should Buy Another Cat

Let’s face it, nobody really gets you like your cat. They know when you need cuddling and when to leave you alone, they never argue back and they’re always there when you get home. The only thing that’s missing is another one to make you feel even better.

I Could Die And No-One Would Even Know

Apart from your parents, there are very few people who check in on you on a daily basis and as you get older, you can’t help but worry. You daydream about your inevitable single death and ask yourself, who would even come looking for you? It’s all a bit bleak.

Is It Okay That I Cuddle My Pillow?

You have discovered that your pillow is the perfect size and length for cuddling during the night and on most evenings, you don’t even notice the absence of a partner. If you do eventually find someone, you’re sure that they would never measure up to what you have going on with your pillow, anyway.

Maybe I Should Flee Into The Wild

You spend so much time in your own company that you’ve genuinely considered upping sticks and moving to the wilderness. You’ve survived for this long without human contact; what’s another few years?

Everyone Dies Alone, It’s Okay

On your darkest days, when you feel the most alone, you console yourself with the inevitable. Yes, it’s morbid and no, it’s not nice but when you’re surrounded by smug, married couples, you get a lot of comfort from the fact that in the end, we’re all single people.