18 Things Parents Don’t Tell Their Teenagers

Teenagers may feel like there’s a massive divide between themselves and their parents, but they couldn’t be more wrong. If only they knew what their parents were really thinking about their teenager’s problems, their school friends and their social media posts, they’d be shocked … and impressed! One parent lifts the lid on what really goes on inside your parent’s minds, and gives teenagers a glimpse into how human we really are. Not to mention a lot smarter and more interesting than your friends!

School Concerts Are Boring

As are plays, performances, ballet concerts, the lot. Sure, we get a buzz from seeing you on stage, but for the most part it’s just plain painful. We’re not interested in other people’s kids – especially the one who is really bad at the clarinet, and the ballet teacher’s favorite student who takes over the whole performance. They are hours and hours of your life that you’ll never get back, and we can’t wait until you have kids and have to do it for years. But we do it so you feel loved and supported.

We Have Better Sex Than You

While you’re asleep or out with your friends, your parents are having sex. Yep, you read that right. And the sad thing for you is, we know tricks that you won’t learn for years. We feel sad for you that you have to go through that awkward stage, but we all had to, and when you have kids and they go to sleep, you’ll be doing the same thing as us, and loving every minute.

School Isn’t That Important

All those tests and all that homework we nag you about, we know deep down it doesn’t mean a great deal. You won’t use much of it again, except maybe for pub trivia when you’re older. It would be so much easier for both of us if we could tell you this, because you wouldn’t stress about grades so much. But we have to tell you to knuckle down, because what school work will teach you is how to plan, be organised and get your work done. We’re just hoping you’ll learn that by accident.

We’re Already Planning Our Lives After You Leave Home

As the teenage years wear on, you’re not the only one who can’t wait to escape the family home. We’re already planning overseas holidays, smaller and sportier cars, and turning your room into a walk-in wardrobe. Everyone loves freedom, and we’ve worked hard for it.