16 Must-Follow Pickup Tips For Guys
Whether you’re brand-new to the pickup game or returning after a long absence, it’s important to stay on top of the latest do’s and don’ts of day/night game. There’s a lot of bad advice out there, much of it way out of line with what actually impresses women on a date. Times have changed, and women don’t respond to those outdated, condescending “seduction” techniques that are still so popular among men.
So, what do women look for on the first date? What do they expect out of a potential partner? What are some ways you can improve your pickup prowess? These sixteen tips will cover those questions and more, so you can dive right into the pickup game and feel comfortable, confident, and ready to get out yourself there.
Don’t Show Up Late
This one might seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at how many guys stroll into a restaurant or bar ten minutes after they were supposed to be there.
It’s important to remember the difference between being fashionably late (a minute or two) and being just plain rude (three or more minutes). Don’t make a potentially hungry lady wait.
Some guys are naturally shy—and there’s nothing wrong with that! In fact, some women find it utterly charming. But if your shyness is crippling, it’s nearly impossible to make a personal connection and is a big turnoff for many women. So, what can you do about it?
Try disclosing your shyness to her upfront. She’ll probably understand, so just own up to it. It’s part of who you are, and you can’t just force yourself to be outgoing. Take her someplace you know you’ll feel comfortable, and most importantly—ask questions, make conversation, and find commonality. You will feel totally at ease in no time.
Do Something Casual
In most cases, you no longer need to impress a girl with a formal night out on the town. For acquaintances just getting to know each other, a casual setting like a coffee shop, bowling alley, mini-golf course or pub is a perfect venue to facilitate conversation and fun. Sometimes dressing up for a fancy dinner just seems like too much work, and not enough fun.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex
This one just doesn’t seem to click with some people: nobody likes hearing about your previous relationships on the first meet. In fact, it isn’t really a subject you should address at all until you’re getting closer to relationship territory.
Fasion Faux Pas: Socks and Sandals
Socks and sandals have never, ever been cool—and they never ever will be. Wearing this disastrous combo on a meet up is a surefire way to make her think you don’t know how to dress.
Be Nice to Her
It doesn’t matter if you’ve had the worst day of your life—if you’re still going out on that meet, you owe it to her to be pleasant, courteous, respectful, and kind. Never be rude or condescending on a meet, you won’t get a second chance!
Be Nice To Your Waiter
Getting some grub is a great way to get plenty of conversation time with a potential partner. But if you’re rude to the waitstaff, it makes you look selfish and immature. Being polite and respectful in any situation indicates you’re mature, confident, and most of all, datable!
Fasion Faux Pas: T-Shirt and Jeans
Let’s clear the air: there’s nothing wrong with the good ol’ T-shirt and jeans combo. But wearing it on a first date generally indicates a lack of trying. We may be keeping it casual, but many women appreciate it when guys put some effort into their outfit.
Substitute the tee for a polo or button-up. Really, almost any collared shirt will do.
Keep the Conversation Balanced
Conversation is an art, but it isn’t a solo act. Don’t dominate the conversation and never talk over your date. Make sure you listen when she speaks, and be sure to ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation moving forward.
Don’t be too silent, either. Express yourself, share your opinions, thoughts, tell jokes, tell stories—but make sure both of you are getting equal talking time.
Practice Good Manners
Some women appreciate doors being held open for them, or guys picking up the check—but these days, it’s best to avoid overtly “chivalrous” behavior before you know how your date feels about it. Some women find traditionally chivalrous acts offensive or demeaning.
That being said, there’s no reason to practice bad manners. Keep the conversation appropriate, don’t talk with food in your mouth, wait until her food arrives before you start eating—all of the basic table manners you learned as a kid. And most importantly, if she tells you something you’re doing is rude, listen to her!
Fasion Faux Pas: Inapproriate Attire
Good fashion sense is less of a list of Do’s and Don’ts and more about knowing what kind of attire is appropriate for a given situation.
If you’re taking your date for a stroll on the beach, go for some nice shorts and sandals. If you’re hitting the town, make sure your dress and grooming reflect that. You should always put effort into the way you look, but know when to ramp it up or tone it down.
Don’t Be Distracted
Give your date your undivided attention. Don’t spend the entire date looking at your phone or constantly checking the time. Your date took time out of her busy schedule to spend time with you, be respectful of that fact and avoid appearing bored or disinterested.
Who Pays The Bill?
It’s a question that has haunted single people for decades: who pays the bill? In the past, men were expected to take care of it. Today, women have differing opinions on the issue. A great rule to follow is this: whoever did the asking out, pays the check.
If your date insists on splitting the check, be polite and accept the offer. It’s far more rude to deny her the ability to pay if that’s what she wants.
Keep an Eye Out for Signals
Pay attention to any signals your date sends you. If you feel sparks, tell her you enjoyed yourself at the end of the date, and ask her if she did as well.
If you don’t feel sparks, don’t go in for a kiss or tell her you’ll call her—it could be awkward at best, and misleading at worst.
Get a Second Opinion
Sometimes we get a little wrapped up in our plans to impress someone. If you’re unsure about your outfit or choice of date venue, ask a friend for a second opinion. If possible, try to speak with someone who knows your date personally.
Practice Good Eye Contact
This is a tip that often gets abused. Making eye contact is important for establishing trust and indicating interest, but know when to look away. Excessive eye contact can make people feel uncomfortable, and come off as a little creepy.
There’s nothing wrong with looking off into space every now and then—just remember to make eye contact semi-frequently.