20 Of The Weirdest Role-Playing Game Characters Ever
Capcom’s Mega Man may be famous for jumping and shooting his way through stages, but back in 2004 the Blue Bomber’s franchise saw an RPG spinoff in Mega Man X: Command Mission. One of the earliest party members is Massimo, a hulking robot that glides around and smashes with a high-tech axe. It only takes one look at the Reploid to know that he’s the game’s heavy hitter — but as it turns out, he’s actually a much feebler, much more cowardly robot masquerading as the real Massimo. So essentially, one of the good guys is wearing the skin of another good guy — but it’s hard to worry about ethical questions or inlaid horrors when Massimo has the power to turn gold.
Anyone who looks at Baten Kaitos Origins’ Guillo would be forgiven for mistaking the living puppet as a pile of rags in a human form. But in actuality, Guillo is an automaton with no qualms about unleashing sweeping magical attacks and insults that cut to the bone. Incidentally, the gender is up in the air; both a male and female voice echo simultaneously in-game, so as insulting as it sounds, even a casual observer could get away with using “it” as a descriptor. That doesn’t seem like the most respectful term for a puppet created to slay horrific monsters, but it’ll have to do.
It’ll be a while yet before we know what sorts of creatures are out there in the universe — but if Rogue Galaxy is any indication, we’re in for a real treat. Summing up Jupis’ insanity is as simple as saying “talking dinosaur”, but even a word beyond that turns it into “talking dinosaur scientist”. He makes his debut in the story as a reptile scorned, and proceeds to wreak havoc on his enemies via giant robot. Once he’s taken down, he becomes a mellow ally — but in battle, he’ll willingly unleash yoyos, boom boxes, and hot peppers to help save the galaxy. One wonders how he scrapes up the money to build such wonderful toys, but given that he can (and will) breakdance, it’s best to chalk it up as one of the universe’s great mysteries.
The future of robotics is up in the air right now, but of the end result turns out anything like Xenosaga’s KOS-MOS, a lot of people are going to be very happy. Each game in her trilogy made her progressively prettier — which doesn’t seem like much of a utility for a fighting machine, but maybe even androids want to know they look good. Whatever the case, she spends nearly the entire trilogy as a stoic and aloof ally, but makes up for her lack of social graces with the ability to summon giant machine guns from out of nowhere and blast interdimensional beings with lasers from her body. Also, she was created as a plan to resurrect Mary Magdalene. There’s some food for thought, with extra sacrilege.