18 Unbelievable Parenting Fails That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself
Bringing new life into the world is a privilege. Beautiful, innocent young children are put into our care – as if having them has turned us into responsible adults. Well, that’s just not the case. Most parents struggle at some point – and the ones who find it easy are probably doing it wrong. We’ve put together 18 incredible parenting fails, from the darkest channels of the internet for you to peruse. They may not have the worst parenting skills, but they’re pretty damn close. From twerking with toddlers to turning babies into ‘gator feed, this list covers the lot.
Hot Pocket Baby
We all know what it’s like – you’re hungry in the middle of the night so you sneak into the kitchen and throw some leftovers in the microwave. We’d like to believe whoever did this was too tired to turn on the lights, and in a fit of exhaustion stuffed their baby in the microwave.
Actually, let’s just hope this was a funny photo-op, and not the massive parenting malfunction that it appears to be.
The Family Business
Warning: this will leave you disturbed. If it doesn’t, you should be worried. Some parents put pressure on their kids from a young age to study hard, score high on standardised tests and aim for a good college. Other parents – not so much. Who knows what they were thinking when they dressed this baby up in neon fishnets and creepy underwear.
There are so many questions to be answered in this photograph. Why the plug socket? Why the lamp? Why dress a baby up as a stripper? Where the hell did they get those baby stripper clothes? Let’s hope these questions stay unanswered. Forever.
Perfect Baby Shower Gift
This would be the perfect gift for the parent who’s too damn lazy to get up and feed their baby. Instead of preparing a baby bottle or breastfeeding, pour some juice into a Crib Dribbler and let the baby use it like a buffet.
The best case scenario, is a baby who doesn’t need you for anything, ever. The worst case scenario is a baby sleeping in a pool of cold milk. Nice.
Sarah Burge, British queen of cosmetic surgery – also known as the “human Barbie”, got her little princess the ultimate birthday gift. At the ripe old age of seven, her daughter was presented with a voucher for $9000 worth of breast implants. To be cashed in 11 years, of course.
Don’t worry, that’s not all she got! Darling Poppy and her friends were also treated with manicures, pedicures, fake tattoos, fake champagne and a designer cake on a luxury party bus. Living the inappropriately high life.
No Phones At The Dinner Table
Everyone gets mad about the people they love spending too much time on their phone and not enough time in the moment. We usually have a laugh and shake it off – and most of us have the foresight not to be insensitive at big moments. Apparently not the case with this new Mom.
Let’s hope she was trying to call the father of the baby, or her own mother to tell them the good news. Who are we kidding? It was probably a post-birth selfie. It’s 2015. The future is now.
Eyes On The Road
We all know what it’s like to have our hands full. Say you decide not to take a trolley at the supermarket and end up buying more than you expected. It’s hard enough opening the trunk with your hands full of shopping bags, let alone with a baby in tow. So this is acceptable, right?
Wrong. This lady was so busy – so distracted – that she put her baby down in the middle of the road. This is one of the worst parenting fails ever documented.
He Fought The Law And The Law Won
Kids are always wandering off and giving their parents mini heart attacks. The solution? Handcuff your child to your shopping cart. In some ways, this seems kinda smart. In all other ways, it’s cruel, weird and humiliating. Let’s see if this kid grows up to be a cop.
Where to begin? Unpacking all the wrong in this photograph would take hours. First, mixing babies with guns. You don’t need to be a prosecution lawyer to understand why that’s a bad idea. Second, actually photographing your baby playing with said guns.
Let’s just hope they’re toys. Really, really, really hyperrealistic toys. Because that would be much better – right? At least he looks kind of happy.
“Performing in the much respected and commended style popularized by the incredible child role model Miley Cyrus, we now present to you, Toddlers Twerking!” That must be the dream going through this Mom’s head, right?
Her kid’s name up in lights – receiving a special Lifetime Twerk Achievement award – and when she gets up to give her thank you speech, she lays it all at the feet of her doting mother. Thank you for teaching me how to twerk, Mom. Thank you.
This Mom Has Clearly Given Up
There comes a stage in parenthood where every parent wants to give up. It’s been one sleepless night and one irrational temper tantrum too many. This Mom has definitely had that type of day. Here she’s seen dragging her child around the supermarket, as he refuses to let go of the kart.
Oh well, the heavier weight makes for a good work out – right?
It’s hard to tell whether this Grammy is epically awesome, or really terrible at grand-parenting. Taking cute selfies is one thing, but posing with a trout-mouth and showing off your butt while your grandma holds you up is another.
This Grandma takes being ‘down with the kids‘ to a whole new level.
Look At The Pretty Animals!
Our generation has already seen a number of baby-dangling scandals in our life time – most notably that of Michael Jackson. Well, at least MJ wasn’t hanging his baby over a pit of alligators.
This Dad wanted to show his kid the zoo – and what better way to get up close and personal with the animals than in their actual bellies. Good call, Dad. Good call.
Awkward Family Photo
Sure – they think they’re being witty and clever. “Look at our funny t-shirts! The baby’s the sperm, get it?“
Yes Mom, yes Dad – we get it. In fact, humans have been ‘getting it’ for thousands of years. It’s how you came to be standing here, evolved into humans with stupid ASCII jokes on your t-shirts. Way to go. This kid has to deal with you guys for his entire life. Good luck, young one.
This Seems Like A Good Idea
So I could move my baby out of the cart, or I could precariously stack mountains of heavy electrical goods on top of him. Yeah, I’ll just leave the baby right there.
This Mom cleverly built a cage of danger around her tiny toddler. In some ways, impressive. In other ways, disturbing and repulsive. Please, can we start regulating parenting licenses? Thank you.
“I Need Some Space”
Former “Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham has explained why she was spending so much time out and about working on her career. Where ‘working on her career’ means promoting herself at strip clubs.
After receiving heat for not spending time with her then 4 year old child, Sophia, she stated that Sophia “has her own life and is doing her own thing, and I’m doing mine.”
Sounds like a healthy break up. Except, you know, it’s your baby, and your baby doesn’t need ‘space.’ It needs a new Mom.
No Need For A Bigger Table
The only reasonable scenario that lead to this photograph is that this rowdy, unruly kid passed out on the table, and rather than wake him, his parents decided to eat around him. Well, around and on top of him.
When you’ve run out of table space and there’s nowhere else to sleep – what are you gonna do? Their ingenuity and ability to improvise is impressive.
Like Father, Like Son
Some parents worry that they will have to justify their own irresponsible decisions to their children one day. How can I tell my kid not to get a butterfly tattoo on her lower back if I still haven’t got the money to get rid of my own tramp stamp?
That doesn’t seem to be a problem for this Daddy. He’s happy to initiate his obviously terrified, way-too-young child into the ink club. Protective services, anyone? Poor kid.
Walk The Baby, Carry The Dog
As much as this is an incredible parenting fail, it’s also a little charming. Mommy has gone without sleep for just a little too long and has managed to get things backwards.
The kid is probably incredibly unhappy being on a leash – what with him being a human and all. But the poodle seems to be having the time of his life, copping a free piggy back ride. We should all be so lucky.