15 Things That Will Kill Any Romantic Relationship
We all want to believe that the relationship we are in is the healthiest and in the best shape possible. We might even be right about that assertion at this very moment. What we don’t realize is that there are a number of things we can do that will take that healthy relationship and turn it upside down. Sometimes there is a lurch towards suddenly being in trouble. Other times, its a slow crawl from “in love” to “in annoyance”, to “in hate”. If you want to make sure your relationship stays healthy, avoid these 15 things.
Not Sharing Your Feelings
We often think of people being greedy as those who are stockpiling “things”. The fact of the matter is not sharing your feelings is just as greedy and just as harmful as not allowing your partner to share your physical items.
Too Much Competition
If you are playing to win too much, you are going to start building a wall of resentment. Even if you think you’re always right and your partner is always wrong, take another look and see if there might be middle ground.
Not Talking Through Issues
Some people will decide it’s better to just not talk about something that’s bothering them. The problem is that issue will fester and grow over time. It’s better to let your partner know there’s something bothering you as soon as it comes up.
Spending Like You’re Still Single
More and more couples have separate finances and that’s fine. But when you go buy yourself the next big gadget or toy and then claim you don’t have any money for groceries or rent, your partner is going to get more than a bit annoyed. Keep your partner in mind when you write next month’s budget.
Don’t expect your partner to understand your feelings if you don’t tell him/her every once in a while. Don’t expect them to pick you up from the airport if you haven’t talked about it first either. Make sure your expectations about your partner are based in reality.
There really isn’t a little white lie when it comes to a relationship. If your partner catches you in a lie, that erodes trust. Erode the trust enough and the relationship starts to degrade. There’s a reason the saying “honesty is the best policy” exists.
Avoiding Confrontation At All Costs
No couple wants to fight, but if you avoid confrontation at all costs, you’re going to start resenting your partner. Sometimes they are going to make you mad. Don’t bury that anger every single time.
Hiding Behind Pretense
Stop trying to be okay with everything that happens in order to look “cool”. Eventually you’ll start feeling resentment and your partner will never get to know the real you.
Worrying About Breaking Up
Constantly worrying about breaking up probably means there’s something wrong in your relationship. Don’t stop doing things because you’re afraid it will end the relationship. Stop doing things because you know it’s wrong to do them.
Living together before you or your partner is ready is the single biggest wedge that can be driven into a relationship. Make sure you’re ready to live with someone and make sure they are too.
Being Together Without Being Together
You don’t have to devote every second to each other, but make sure you are devoting some time to your partner. Don’t always be multi-tasking, especially when it comes to spending time together.
Communication breakdowns can be emotional, or they can be real time issues like not telling your partner they were supposed to be somewhere at a certain time. This can lead to resentment from both parties.
Playing The Blame Game
Blaming your partner for everything that goes wrong in the relationship is a sure-fire way to see that relationship go up in smoke. Either you’ll start resenting them, or they’ll start resenting always getting the blame.
There is a line that should never be crossed when you become overdependent. Wanting to be with your partner is one thing, needing them to fill some void in your life is another and they will start to resent it.
Lack of Romance
Everyone who has been in a long term relationship has seen the “romance” fade over time. It’s important to make sure to bring that back every now and then. Get the spark back, even if you don’t have the time to be romantic all the time.