20 Of Marvel Comics’ Weirdest Villains
The comics are no stranger to animal-themed heroes and villains, but some of them take the affect more seriously than others. Grizzly is a prime example, even if it’s not by choice. As a wrestler disgraced by his violent antics, Maxwell Markham decided to take his revenge on the man who ruined his life — J. Jonah Jameson, Spider-Man’s employer — once he got his hands on the aptly-named “Grizzly Exo-Skeleton”. He ended up losing to Spider-Man, and even in a rematch with a better suit, the wall-crawler had to fake a loss as a way to spare his feelings. It still didn’t save him from being named as a member of the “Legion of Losers”. The moral of the story is obvious, then: always follow the rules of wrestling.
Magneto is a supervillain out to have his mutant brethren crush human opposition, and true to his name makes use of a slew of magnetic powers. Professor Charles Xavier is the psychic mastermind behind a school for mutants, and aims to have them mingle with humans. Put the two together, and it creates Onslaught, a ten-foot tall armored menace with an army of killer robots. Apparently that’s the end result of taking a comatose Magneto’s anger and fusing it with Xavier’s negative thoughts — a very literal application of “mind over matter”. Speaking of minds, his plan was to merge humanity into a single collective consciousness, at least until he gave up and decided to kill everyone instead. That’s the mark of a real trooper.
Some have argued that if superheroes didn’t appear in their stories, neither would supervillains. It’s a necessary evil for writers, since only powerful villains can challenge powerful heroes — but that doesn’t explain who would ever try to challenge Spider-Man with what amounts to a fusion between a tank and a unicycle. Granted, it’s a machine in use by shady businessman Jackson Weele, so it seems as if he chose to run with his name as a theme — after someone made fun of him for his last name, of course. Clearly, Big Wheel has proved all the haters wrong by doing what no one else could: rolling through the New York streets in that contraption with a straight face.
Carl Creel — the titular Absorbing Man — might not have made it into the movies, but he has the distinction of appearing in the TV series Agents of SHIELD. On the air or in the comics, the ex-boxer has the same skill set: he can take on the properties of whatever he touches. It’s not uncommon for him to turn into wood, metal, or clay, but he can do more than that; not only can he mix those materials at his leisure, but in the past he’s become light, heat, or good old nuclear energy. That technically makes him one of the strongest villains ever, but paradoxically he’s one with the biggest weakness: in many cases, he’s had to absorb and become whatever he’s been exposed to. In other words, he’s a villain that can be beat by slathering him in applesauce and laughing as he turns into a pile of fruity goo.